Caring for Sex Offenders - Okay, But What About the Victims?
Quaker News

It is unusual for 'Quaker News' to print letters but the one below raises issues on a particularly sensitive area of central work.

I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. As a child, I was repeatedly raped by my father and his 'acquaintances'. At the age of 8 the sexual abuse began to abate, but it was still a further 7 years before I was almost completely free from the physical violence that was a constant feature of my home. My case is not as unusual as many, many people might well believe it is. Not at all, in fact. I am now 34, and have suffered years and years of torment culminating in several attempts to take my own life. The effects of child sexual abuse cannot be overestimated.

I spent four years undergoing hospital treatment for the effects of trauma and it has taken me years of concerted effort, pain and frustration to get to a stage in my personal development where I can begin to trust anyone whosoever; which includes trust and belief in myself.

Each and every time I read Quaker News, I never read of the survivor viewpoint. I have read a great deal about support being offered to offenders themselves; this is all well and good and something which I very much support, so long as due care and consideration is given to the people whose lives have been affected by abuse; people who are Quakers and attenders alike. To date nothing of the sort has arisen.

I cannot describe the feelings of despair and anguish that accompany such a one sided crusade. Yes, it is necessary to help offenders; but there are many, many victims out here still too frightened and riddled with false feelings of shame and guilt for the crimes committed by another person. People who, perhaps with less constitution than myself, will be wondering what the Quakers are really doing?

Child sexual abuse is a little understood and highly emotive area of human behaviour. Something which the articles carried in Quaker News do not appear to recognise. It is an area where all too often the victim is forgotten. To this day, very few clear pictures exist of what it is like to live with the effects of abuse. Yet, apparently, Quakers are charging headlong into a debate the starting point for which is support of the offender.

In the name of God I hope and pray that you will slow down, take stock and realise some of the immense mental, psychological and emotional effects that occur when a church sets out to advertise its apparently one sided support for one section of our community.

Helen Drewery, the staff member most involved with the Circles work, replies:

I wholeheartedly agree with much of what N Ward says and I know that the trauma described is shared by many, but the letter does perhaps suggest a misunderstanding of the motivation and purpose of Circles of Support and Accountability. It is knowledge of that trauma which drives the project.

Although the Circles of Support and Accountability project focuses on the offender, that does not mean that it is run solely for the benefit of the offender. The word 'accountability' is at least as important as 'support' in the project's name. I want to keep emphasising that its over-riding aim is to reduce the number of people who have to endure sexual abuse. The offender who becomes a core member of a Circle has to promise that 'there will be no more victims at my hands'. The most crucial statistic from the Canadian experience is the one which shows that re-offending rates were more than halved for those who took part in Circles. That means real people who do not suffer abuse, even though we can never know who they are.

There is work being done by British Friends which addresses other aspects of the problem. Quaker Life are working to help local meetings to set up child protection procedures (see the book Meeting Safety available from the Quaker Bookshop for £3-50 plus £1 p&p). In recent years Young Friends raised funds for two organisations, Christian Survivors of Sexual Abuse (CSSA) and Adult Survivors of Incest and Sexual Abuse (addresses below). There are also two Quaker-run therapeutic communities (Glebe House and Acacia Hall) for troubled teenagers, many of whom have been sexually abused.

However, as I work in this field, I have become ever more aware that provision for survivors of past sexual abuse is woefully inadequate. There are some places to turn for counselling and other support. I am advised that, in principle, one can ask one's GP for counselling on the NHS. There is CSSA, the self-help organisation already mentioned. Children and young people can ring Childline - 0800 1111 - and anyone can ring the Samaritans - 0345 90 90 90. The director of the Churches' Child Protection Advisory Service tells me that they can provide advice to survivors (address below). But still there is undoubtedly a need for more help. If there are Friends who feel led to take up this challenge, I would encourage them to raise it with their meetings and explore what Quakers could contribute. And all of us can help to create Quaker communities where there is sufficient trust for informal support to be given to those among us who carry painful memories from the past.

Meanwhile, I and many other Friends remain convinced that Circles of Support and Accountability offers a path for some high-risk offenders to become useful members of society, to the benefit of all.

Christian Survivors of Sexual Abuse: BM, CSSA, London WC1N 3XX. Tel: 01274 305276
Adult Survivors of Incest and Sexual Abuse. Tel: 01603 63077
Churches' Child Protection Advisory, PO Box 133 Swanley, Kent, BR8 7UQ. Tel: 01322 660011 (24 hour help line) or info@ccpas.co.uk (and their website has lots of helpful material www.ccpas.co.uk).